


This New Air

by merry_magpie



Series: This New Air [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Always a girl, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Casual Sex, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Female Homosexuality, Female Steve Rogers, Lesbian Character, Original Character(s), POV Female Character, Panic Attacks, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queer Themes, Rule 63, Slow Build, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, always a girl Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merry_magpie/pseuds/merry_magpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stevie wakes up in a world she doesn't recognize and tries to build a life for herself.  An Always-a-girl AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I love Steve/Darcy and I love femslash. I started this so long ago, before Thor 2, so this part of the story only takes into account everything up through The Avengers. The story is finished but I'm posting this first chapter now because I can't wait. I'm finishing up edits of the last chapters now, so I'll post one chapter a week until it's finished.

She sits down at an empty table in the mess hall, her tray laden with two glasses of milk, three rolls, two helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy, an open face turkey sandwich with meat piled high on a slice of rye bread underneath, a serving of hot vegetables, and a dinner salad.  It’s shocking even to her that she’s still eating like this, weeks after being woken up.  She knows she has a high metabolism but the most she remembers ever needing to eat in the field was two rations instead of one.  The doctors say it's because her body is still healing and recovering from the trauma of being stuck in ice for nearly seventy years.

She looks up from her lunch and notices SHEILD agents in the mess hall watching her, some of them better at hiding it than others.  None of the staring has the outright hostility she remembers from boot camp but it doesn't seem much better now than it was then.  The Captain America everyone remembers is the one Senator Brant and the boys back in the D.C. propaganda office made up.  

She would really like to eat in her room, but her therapist had ordered her to eat in public.  Even then, she wasn't going to budge until her therapist suggested that if she could eat in the mess hall for three weeks it might prove she was ready to get her own apartment off of SHIELD property.

A woman sits down across from her, face turned away, looking out into the room.  "I can't even with these stupid agents anymore, Jane."  She's wearing an ugly sweater and tight jeans tucked into her boots.  It's an odd look, nothing like anything she's seen women wearing around here.  The woman turns back to her and jumps.  "Oh my god.  You're not Jane!  Where the hell is Jane?"

"Um, I don't know?"  Stevie says.

"Sorry, sorry.  This is just where Jane and I usually sit.  I saw someone sitting here when I arrived and I didn't even look.  You look nothing like Jane, I mean no one does, she’s stupid gorgeous."  She squints at Stevie.  "Not that you're not gorgeous yourself.  Uh.  I mean."  She flushes and Stevie can feel herself blush too.  The woman wipes her hands on pants under the table before she sticks her hand out to shake over their lunches.  "My name is Darcy.”

"Stephanie Rogers.  Stevie."  She says and shakes Darcy's hand. This woman is confusing and a little abrupt but she’s also the only person to treat Stevie like just another person since she woke up.

"Mind if I sit here?"

"Well, it's your spot.  I’m just borrowing it."  Stevie says.  Darcy sits and takes a bite of her sandwich, eyeing Stevie’s lunch.  The silence is a little awkward but Stevie doesn't really want to work to hold up her half of a conversation.  She wasn't good at it before the war and she's damned if she's going to get good at it now.  Being charming and polite was Bucky's specialty.  She thinks about his voice and the rough calluses on his hands and she feels tears threaten - for her, it’s only been three weeks since he fell from the train.

After Stevie has polished off her sandwich and most of her potatoes using the rolls to scoop up the gravy and potato slurry, Darcy looks desperate to end the silence.  "Rumor has it that Captain America was, like discovered in the Arctic.  I heard people in line saying he’s in this lunchroom.  How crazy is that?”  She leans in a bit and lowers her voice.  “Who do you think he is?"

Stevie tries not to choke on her mashed potatoes. "I’ve heard Captain America is blonde," she says.

Darcy looks back to her, scans the room again, then looks back to Stevie.  "And the only blonde in here is you."

"Surprise," Stevie deadpans.

Darcy looks her over once more and laughs. Stevie flinches, expecting the laugh to be derisive, but instead it's utterly delighted.  "Oh my god."  Darcy manages before laughing again.  She takes in a deep breath to calm herself.  "Of fucking course, the history books lied about that.  This is like the coolest thing ever.” She laughs again.  “You have now totally knocked Amelia Erhart out of first place in my heroines of the twentieth century list."

Stevie has to admit that this is the first time someone hasn't seem disappointed the legend and reality don’t match.   She feels a smile ghost her lips.  "You sure you aren't let down?"

"Are you kidding?  This is honestly like the coolest thing ever."  Something seems to click in her mind.  "Have other people been disappointed?  Are you serious?  Captain America rises from his, her,” she corrects herself, “grave like the American version of King Arthur back to save humanity from itself, and people are disappointed in you?  Even a little?"

Stevie tries to keep her face and voice calmer than she feels.  "I'm not King Arthur, and I didn't exactly rise from the grave."  It can’t be understated how much she does not appreciate that comparison.  She’s just a girl from Brooklyn and a good soldier; she’s not the propaganda tool drumming up support for war bonds nor is she whatever legend was created about her while she slept in ice.

"Metaphor.  It was a metaphor.”  Darcy waves a hand at her dismissively.  “Also, the point to take away from that is that you are awesome and they all suck.  Just, FYI."

She can usually figure out what people means from context, but it's also like when she was learning French from Gabe and working with the French Resistance, the extra effort to translate everything said into something that makes sense is exhausting after a short while.  "FYI?"

"Oh, sorry, it means ‘for your information.’"  She glances over her shoulder.  "Oh, there's Jane.  Do you mind if she sits with us?"  Darcy's already waving Jane over before Stevie can say yes or no.  She's not sure if she wants company in the first place but she’s also a little pleased because this is the first time she's been part of an "us" in SHIELD.

A slight, small woman walks over to them, and Stevie can see what Darcy was saying earlier.  Jane is gorgeous.  Jaw-dropping in a way that isn’t exactly her type but is still pretty enough to be distracting. At the same time she's wearing jeans even Stevie, with her very limited understanding of modern styles, can tell don't fit and are in ill repair.  She's also wearing a teal tee-shirt with what Stevie hopes to God isn't a picture a unicorn shitting rainbows. She sits down next to Darcy and smiles at Stevie.

"Jane, this is Stevie Rogers."  Darcy says and Stevie holds out her hand to shake which is apparently enough to fluster Jane for a moment before she returns the handshake herself.  "Stevie, this is Doctor Jane Foster.  She's working on building an Einstein-Rosens bridge, which is a fancy way of saying, she's doing crazy, crazy science."

"It's not crazy, crazy science,” Jane says.  “I’m doing astrophysics."

"Jane, Stevie Rogers is better known as Captain America."  Darcy says, clearly pleased with herself.

Jane's eyes widen and she looks at Stevie again.  "What?  Get out."  She pushes Darcy lightly.

"For serious."  Darcy nods.

"Holy crap," she says to Darcy and then turns to Stevie and says, "holy crap" again.

"Totally my reaction too."  Darcy laughs.  Stevie crosses her arms over her chest.  She's not really comfortable with all this attention.  Darcy hits Jane on the shoulder.  "We gotta be cool, lady, we are making Stevie uncomfortable."

"Sorry."  Jane says, actually contrite.

"It's no problem."  Stevie says.  She's a little worried it's going to get awkwardly silent again so she starts in on her salad.  Now that Jane's here, though, she and Darcy animatedly tell her about how they came to work for SHIELD (Norse god aliens is the answer - she quickly realizes why they take her existence in stride) and try to explain the basics of their work.  Darcy is self-effacing but Jane insists on highlighting her contributions.  It's nice, actually.  They're obviously friends as well as colleagues.

"Sorry, we can talk forever."  Jane says.  "What are you doing here?"

"Uh.  I guess I'm trying to get a feel for the future.  The present," she amends for the hundredth time today.  "SHIELD's got me studying.  Doing a lot of tests."

"That sounds fun, I guess."  Darcy says in a way that suggests it does not sound fun at all.  It really isn’t so it’s nice that someone understands.  Stevie quirks a half smile.

"Darcy."  Jane reprimands.  "It sounds like a lot of work.  I can't even imagine."

These two women have been nothing but open with her and she lets her guard down just for a moment.  "Actually, I'm bored.”  She picks at her food, her appetite suddenly gone.  “And overwhelmed."  The silence stretches until Darcy touches her hand.

"Do you have a cell phone?"  She asks.  Stevie pulls out her StarkPhone from her pocket.  She's used it maybe once when the agent who gave it to her showed her how to turn it on and make a call.  She knows it has the Internet on it and a load of other things but every time she thinks about picking it up and trying to learn it everything seems like it’s too much and she puts it away again.  Darcy takes it from her and starts fiddling with it.  She takes a picture of herself and then Jane, fiddles around a bit more and then hands it back.  "Okay, do you know how to use this?"

"I can make a phone call," she says with a defensive scowl.

"Great.  So I made Jane and I favorite contacts which you can find here.  See, there are even pictures of us in case you forget our names or something."  As if Stevie would forget this lunch anytime soon.  No one had been this nice to her since she woke up.  "If you press that button you call our phones.  If you press this button you'll text us.  Which is like so much better, you can't even begin to understand.  It's like a telegraph, if the telegraph was awesome, instant, and fit in your phone."  She presses the second button and a small box pops up on the screen, a tiny keyboard underneath.  Darcy types "hi" into the screen upside down so that Stevie can see what's happening the entire time.  She presses a small button on the screen that says, "send."  A few seconds later her own phone makes a beeping noise.  She pokes at it for a second.  Then Stevie's phone makes a small noise.  The screen had already gone dark, so Stevie unlocks it again and sees her own "hi" and under it Darcy’s "afternoon, Captain."

"And now you've texted."  Darcy says.  "Easy as that."

With the phone open, Stevie can see she's got ten minutes before another training session.  Hopefully, they'll let her punch bags again.  She likes it when she can let out her frustration until she exhausts herself.  "Thanks.  Darcy, Jane.  I've got to go, but it was really nice to meet you both."  She shakes both their hands again and escapes the mess hall.

She's not sure she'll text either one of them, but it's probably the nicest hour she's had since she woke up.

 --

After that day, she keeps going to the mess hall and hoping she'll see either one of them again but she doesn't.  They were both kind people who weren’t disappointed in her because she's not the Captain America they expected nor because she's not suitably impressed with their shiny, plastic future.  She didn’t realize how much she needed that until she doesn’t see either one of them in the mess each day.

She passes the tests her therapist set up for her in order to get a place away from Headquarters.  It's a spacious one-bedroom apartment in a brownstone in Brooklyn.  Top floor, and she's pretty sure it's a converted safe house because there are numerous safety measures built into the house that, even in the future, Stevie is fairly sure aren't standard.  But she has roof access and more space than any living quarters she's had before so she isn’t going to complain.  The agent who shows her the place apologizes that SHIELD didn't get her an apartment with more space and Stevie reassures him she's fine, thank you.

The apartment is already furnished and Stevie is surprised at how little interior decoration has changed until she starts walking around her neighborhood and realizes SHIELD made sure her apartment was decorated in a way that might make her feel more at home.  She's not sure if that's because they're coddling her but it does make her feel at home and she spends more time there than she probably ought to.

Stevie takes a deep breath and puts her charcoal down, resting it on the ledge of her drafting table.  She looks outside the window.  It’s a nice day out and the trees are in bloom.  As a child in Brooklyn, the blossoms meant the return of her allergies and nights spent awake trying to breathe through another asthma attack.  It’s nice to take a deep breath and smell the light scent of the blossoms on the trees.  She doesn’t remember that smell from her childhood and she doesn’t know if that’s because her allergies kept her nose clogged all spring or if her improved sense of smell now allows her to smell something others can’t.  Whatever it is, it’s nice and she knows the city won’t smell this good for a long while so she should take this as a sign to get out of the house.

When she first moved out to Brooklyn, the subway was enough to make her chest feel tight but eventually that eased up and she knew she could get lulled into complacency if she didn't push herself further.  Stevie hates being worthless and she is definitely worthless in this future of hers if she can't go outside without feeling shell-shocked.

She washes her hands briefly, not well enough to get the charcoal dust out from her under her nails but enough to prevent staining her clothes, and grabs her jacket.  It’s a light tan leather jacket that’s cut almost like one of the Eisenhowers from the men’s dress uniform which makes it familiar enough for it to be a comfort to her.  She grabs her newspaper and tucks it into her purse.

Today she’s decided to go to a coffee shop.  In her Brooklyn they’d had diners and automats, but she remembers the concept from Italy and parts of Southern France.  She likes the idea of sitting outside with the smell of blossoms in the air, a newspaper to read, and a cup of joe.

It’s nearly a 10 minute walk just to get to the cafe she’s scoped out on previous walks and estimates today she might end up being outside nearly a full hour.  It feels silly to be proud of that but her therapist seems to think it’s worth it.  On a day like today it almost feels worth it to her too.

The coffee shop has a sandwich board outside always bragging about its coffee.  Stevie isn’t really sure that coffee can really taste like berries, but at least the shop smells inviting even if it’s a little crowded.  As she enters, she realizes that it’s actually very crowded today.  Stevie’s pulse quickens.  With sky above her, crowds never feel oppressive.   Here it’s just four walls, a ceiling, and people.  There are machines making horrible noises, people are shouting, and Stevie feels like she does when she was under attack - for a minute, she wants her shield with her so badly her arm aches.  She tries to calm down as she gets closer to the front counter; she’s just waiting in line, not out on a battlefield.   As she gets closer to the counter she hears a lot of talk about the differences between Columbian, Guatemalan, and Ethiopian beans.  When she hears one of the counter staff say that the beans are “fruity with a light acidity” Stevie decides she's in way over her head and walks out the door.

She walks back to her house quickly, probably raising some eyebrows along the way because Captain America can walk very fast when she puts her mind to it.  She tosses her newspaper and her purse next to her keys on the small table near her door. She leans against the door taking deep breaths until her pulse slows down again.

She reaches for her purse to hang it up and sees her cellphone next to her keys.  As it always does of late, her cellphone reminds her of Darcy.  She unlocks the screen and stares at the short example conversation Darcy had shown her weeks ago now.  Beside the little cartoon speech bubbles saying, “afternoon, Captain” is the picture Darcy took of herself.  She longs for a time when someone was always there on her six.  She grabs her phone and slumps down on the couch.  She misses everything about her old life.  She also misses Darcy’s easy smile.  At least she can see that one again.

Stevie isn’t sure about the etiquette for this kind of thing, so she plays it a bit cautiously, erring towards polite, and types in:

_Good morning, Darcy.  This is Captain Stephanie Rogers._

In a few moments she receives a reply.

_hey. good to hear from u. thought you’d forgotten how to use ur phone_  

Darcy’s language is significantly less formal than she had expected.  She supposes she has to text more to figure out if that was a texting thing or a Darcy thing.

_I got an apartment away from headquarters.  It’s kept me busy._

Darcy responds with:   _cool :)_

Darcy’s reply is unfathomable but she takes a few minutes to look it up on the Internet.  Once she realizes cool means good and that the colon and parentheses are supposed to create a picture it makes more sense.

_Would you like to get a cup of coffee some time and catch up?_

It isn’t the smoothest of segue but then Stevie has always had problems being smooth with pretty women.  Bucky tried to help her learn, but she suspected what worked on the men Bucky dated wouldn’t work on the women Stevie wanted to date.

_sounds good.  when?_

Stevie agonizes over her response for several minutes before settling on a short reply.   _Saturday morning?_ “If you don’t have anything better to do” seemed too self-effacing.  

_as long as you don’t expect me to wake up early.  sat is not for early mornings._

Stevie smiles.  It’s a date.  

 


	2. Chapter 2

Stevie hasn’t had something to look forward to since she woke up from the ice. Meeting Darcy qualifies as actual fun and in her excitement she leaves very early to meet up with her. Stevie’s glad her sketchbook is in her purse. It gives her something to do while she waits. She’s playing with shading the trunk of a tree when she hears, “all that and you can draw too? It’s unfair.”

Stevie tucks her pencil behind her ear and closes her book. She learned a long time ago if she reacted as if she didn’t want someone looking at her sketches they would only get more curious. She’s not embarrassed by her sketches, but she doesn’t feel like sharing. “Good morning, Darcy.” She holds out her hand to shake. Darcy stares at it for a while, enough for Stevie to doubt that shaking hands was what she was supposed to do in the situation, before grabbing the offered hand and shaking it once.

“I’m going to break you of that,” Darcy says instead of hello. “Your awkward turtle handshake thing.”

“It’s better than a salute. That’s the other one I do.”

“You can salute me anytime, soldier.” Darcy winks at Stevie. She turns to go inside quickly enough she misses Stevie’s blush.

Stevie follows Darcy into the coffee shop like a lost puppy and she knows it. In line Stevie can smell Darcy’s shampoo and the soft scent reminds her of peaches. She’s got to hold herself back from leaning closer to sniff. “You ever set foot inside a place like this before, with more on the menu than straight up coffee?” Darcy asks, oblivious to Stevie’s inappropriate thoughts.

“Not exactly,” Stevie says, hedging.

“What do you like? Sweet, milky, black, anything fancy?”

“Black.” She shrugs. “I guess that’s pretty boring.”

“Most people think black is macho, nowadays,” Darcy says as she bumps up against Stevie’s arm. “Tell you what. I’ll order you a pour over, black. I’ll get myself a mocha.  Oh, that’s sweet and chocolatey coffee. You can have a sip of mine and see what you like more.”

“Don’t you have to pick your beans?” Stevie hazards as the line grows shorter.

“Not unless you’re a pretentious creep,” Darcy says. “I’ve never met anyone who can actually tell the difference. I get whatever the barista recommends. It’s easier that way.”

Darcy does the ordering but Stevie insists on paying, “I invited you,” she says.

Stevie can see the table where she waited for Darcy is still open so she guides Darcy over to it, at one point placing her hand on the small of Darcy’s back. She’s worried she shouldn’t have when Darcy tenses beneath her hand, but she relaxes with her next step and even smiles up at Stevie. Stevie gives herself a mental scolding. She’s acting like this is a first date, and she needs to calm down before she becomes a letch.

Stevie had worried on her walk to the cafe conversation would be awkward, but Darcy fills in any lull in conversation with chit chat about anything and everything. She doesn’t explain all her references, but she explains enough of them Stevie feels included but not condescended to. Stevie finds herself laughing at Darcy’s dry humor. It loosens something in her chest and she shares an observation about the neighborhood then and now.

“When they said they were getting me set up in Brooklyn, I expected, I don’t know, something like the flophouses I used to live in. Six floors up, one window, hell, one room with something that could only be broadly called a kitchenette and a bathroom down the hall next to the phone everyone shared.” She takes a sip of her second coffee. “My apartment is a lot nicer than I expected.”

“A nice one bedroom in the City all to yourself? SHIELD must love you.” Darcy nods over her coffee.

“Well, I guess that means some things never change.” Stevie smiles, comforted by the knowledge that a good apartment in New York is still a sought-after prize.

“I’ve got stuff later today, but sometime you have to show me around.” Darcy flutters her eyelashes. She laughs to herself and then says in a Mae West impression, “You’re gonna have to invite me up sometime, big boy.”

It’s unexpected and makes Stevie nearly choke on her coffee swallowing a laugh but it gives her a little thrill at the same time.

Darcy laughs at Stevie’s snorting and coughing. “Sorry, sorry,” she says as she passes Stevie some paper napkins.

“That’s moving pretty quickly. We only just had coffee,” Stevie says, joining in because she knows Darcy doesn’t mean anything with her playful flirting. She’s the kind of person who’s gregarious, loud, and fun. Like Bucky was. It hurts to think of him and she pushes the feelings back because Darcy doesn’t deserve her ruining their time together by moping about a past she can’t change.

Darcy laughs again and leans across the table to punch Stevie in the shoulder. “You’re a tease.”

By the time Darcy has to run off Stevie is feeling pretty good again. Darcy even managed to get Stevie to add another coffee excursion on her calendar. Stevie says she should invite Jane along. Darcy shrugs and says she’ll see what she can do.

\--

The next week Darcy apologizes and says Jane couldn’t make it. Darcy says it while she’s looking so intensely over Stevie’s shoulder that Stevie glances over it to see if there’s someone behind her. There’s nothing there and Darcy continues, “Science. You know.” Stevie thinks of Howard at his most manic and thinks she does know.

This time they eat lunch. Darcy drinks two cups of coffee and a half dozen tiny glasses of water. On their walk home she starts looking a little desperate. “We’re close to your apartment right?” Stevie nods, they’re only a few blocks away but the subway station entrance they’d been walking to is right at the corner. “I drank too much coffee and I gotta pee. Can I come up?”

“Uh, sure.”

They walk the remaining distance pretty quickly considering Darcy’s got short legs and is in heels.

“So this is it,” Stevie says as she opens her door. “Bathroom’s on the left.” She says pointing down the short hallway to her bedroom.

“Thanks,” Darcy says as she darts down the hallway, her heels clicking on the hardwood floors.

Stevie walks around her own apartment and straightens a few things. She didn’t expect company today. Or ever, really. It feels like her life is on display and will be found severely lacking. The only furniture she’s added to the apartment is the drafting table. Aside from some reference photos tacked up on the wall over it there are only the framed poster prints SHIELD provided on the walls.

"Thank God you lived close by, I was dying." Darcy walks into the living room and over to the windows, peering down to the foot traffic below before she turns around taking in the whole apartment. “Wow, Stevie, this place is like a museum.”

Stevie winces. “Yeah. SHIELD set it up. Didn’t think anything of it until I started walking around the city.”

Darcy quickly clarifies. “It’s not bad. It’s just very,” she pauses looking for the right word, “vintage. And kind of empty.” She crinkled her eyes in a half smile. “It’s also huge. Any apartment I could afford on my own would be the size of your living room.”

“I warned you it was ridiculous,” Stevie says. The native New Yorker in her is proud she’s the one giving a friend apartment envy.

“I totally approve that you turned half your living room into a studio though. How long did it take you to get all those art supplies?”

“I told SHIELD what I wanted and they got them for me. Even built the drafting table for me while I was headquarters one day. It would be creepy if it wasn’t so damned convenient.”

"I think you've just accurately summed up SHIELD." Darcy glances out the window again which is good because the way she was looking at Stevie and her apartment was making Stevie feel overexposed. "So, I don't have anything this afternoon and it’s a beautiful day out so I thought maybe we could spend it watching TV?"

“Weren’t you headed home?” Stevie asks because until Darcy decided she had to use the restroom Stevie had thought they were done for the day.

Darcy frowns. “I assumed you didn’t have anything to do?” Darcy says turning it to a question by the end. “Sorry.”

She’s always feels so stupid talking to pretty women. “No. I don’t,” Stevie says. She’s trying to keep Darcy firmly in the friend category because with each friendly smile Stevie can feel a crush growing. “I thought you did?”

“Well, I do have laundry I have to do at some point if I ever want to see my floor again but other than that my Saturday is open.” Darcy looks around the apartment again. "Do you even own a TV?"

"No.” Stevie says and shrugs. “I don't see the point of TV."

"You don’t see the point?" Darcy asks incredulously. "I'm not even sure how to process that statement. I know you like movies. You talked about movies you liked at lunch.” She looks around again, a bit frantically. “You have a computer, right? A laptop?”

"Sure. I have one," Stevie says with some trepidation.

"You don't use it as a paperweight or anything right? You actually use the computer?" Darcy says, her eyes narrowing at Stevie. She has the same expression as the young man who had been Stevie’s computer tutor at SHIELD before she had learned Google was a friendlier way to get answers to questions about how a computer worked.

"Yes. I use the computer as a computer. I even understand what the Internet is and how to use email," Stevie says. She means it sarcastically but she’s pretty sure Darcy thinks she's being earnest.

"Well, alright, grab it." She makes a shooing gesture towards Stevie. As Steve grabs her laptop from her bedroom Darcy continues, "We are going to watch some Adventure Time. It's weird and it doesn't always make sense, but that's how everyone feels so you won't be behind the curve." They sit down on the couch while the computer boots up and Darcy tries to explain the show to her. It sounds like something she’d like, maybe. She used to love the animated shorts before the newsreels.

Darcy logs into a site she calls Netflix and says, "I'll just leave myself logged in here and save my password. That way you can watch more stuff if you want to." A few minutes later they are folded up next to each other on her couch watching a very bright cartoon on her computer. At first, all Stevie can pay attention to is Darcy’s thigh pressed against hers and the smell of Darcy’s shampoo. Stevie knows she needs a friend more than she needs a crush but it takes a lot of concentration not to lean against Darcy and kiss her neck. As the show goes on, though, Stevie finds it’s easier to ignore Darcy’s soft presence next to her and focus on the show instead.

After the first one Darcy turned to her and asks with slight hesitation, "So what did you think?"

"That was amazing," Stevie says with enough enthusiasm that Darcy rocks back. "Reminds me of the Bettie Boop shorts."

"Okay," Darcy says with a grin. "That went better than I expected. There’s more if you’re interested." Darcy started the next one. "I had no idea you were so into animation."

Stevie stares at the screen that says Loading, "I used to read comics: Superman, Sheena Queen of the Jungle, stuff like that." She lets herself drift back into one of her old dreams. "If I'd been a guy I wouldn't have gone into nursing. Couldn't have, nursing’s for girls, and I was never gonna have the education to be a doctor. But I'd have liked to have tried my hand at illustration."

Darcy pauses just as the credits begin. "You were a nurse?”

Stevie keeps her focus on the screen in front of her now because it’s easier than looking at Darcy. "My Mom was a nurse, I followed in her footsteps when she passed." She can feel her stomach drop and churn in grief. "She wanted me to be able to look after myself and I got my nursing credential the year after.” She shakes off the bad memories; it's easier to do that when she's with Darcy than when she's alone. "Nursing's how I got into the whole Captain America thing. I was an army nurse, signed up when Bucky signed up. Part of the war effort.” Stevie tries to smile, make it more light-hearted than it feels. “You know, it was a big thing at the time."

"Bucky?" Darcy asks and Stevie hears curiosity and kindness but not pity which is the only reasons she can really even talk about him. It is so vivid in her mind, watching Bucky fall. Seeing his face, screaming in terror as he fell. It always brought her right back to the train, the wind in her hair, and the smell of the snow in the alps and the diesel fuel of the engine. If Bucky hadn't been there that day, he might not have died in the war at all. Against all odds, none of the other Commandos did. He could have had a life after the war.

"He was my best friend since I was a little girl. When we were old enough, after I got my credential, we married.” She takes a deep breath to keep her voice from shaking. “He died in the war," she says letting Darcy fill in gaps in the wrong way. She doesn’t say, we were best friends and hopelessly queer. She doesn’t say, we could never live the lives we wanted so we did our best. She doesn’t, say Bucky was her world but never her lover.

"Your husband?” Darcy looks surprised but she reaches out to Stevie and takes her hand. “I mean, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks," she says because there was nothing else to say and Darcy is being kind. "Let's watch the next episode." The colors are bright and distracting but Stevie is caught between the heartache of remembering Bucky and scared about how easily she is comforted by Darcy’s presence.

\--

After a few more outings Darcy manages to get Jane out of the lab with the promise of alcohol. Stevie hasn’t been to a bar since she tried to drown her grief in the bombed out pub in London. She’s only going because Jane’s having a bad day and according to Darcy needs a drink to clear her mind of science and Norse Gods who “don’t even call.” She’s afraid she’ll have an episode like she did at the coffee shop the first time but with Darcy there the crowds and noise are easier to take.

Darcy makes Jane get the first round and Stevie orders a beer. Darcy gets the next round and Stevie takes the opportunity to thank Jane for being able to come out. “You are very dedicated to your work,” Stevie says and she admires Jane for it even if she thinks the woman could stand to get out a bit more, which is rich coming from her she knows. “But I’m glad you finally made it out to one of our little get-togethers.”

“Finally?” Jane asks. It’s getting later and the bar has turned up their music to a level that’s almost uncomfortable to Stevie’s enhanced hearing.

She repeats herself to be heard over the music. “Yeah, I’m glad you could get away from your work tonight.”

“Right, tonight.” Jane looks over her shoulder at Darcy, still standing at the bar waiting to get the bartender’s attention. “Well, you know me, I’m a workaholic.” She laughs.

“It’s nice Darcy and I have had so much time together, though.” She can feel herself blush and hopes the dim lights hide it. “I mean, since I’m sure you don’t want to spend your free time watching cartoons.”

“How much time?” She asks narrowing her eyes, before waving her hand at Stevie. “Nevermind, nevermind. I’m glad to be out of the lab.”

Darcy comes back to their table. “A margarita for Jane, a beer for Stevie, and a beer for Darcy. Oh, look, that’s me.” She says placing the drinks in front of everyone.

“So, Stevie tells me you’ve been watching cartoons together,” Jane says and Stevie can tell she’s teasing Darcy, though she’s not entirely sure why. About the cartoons maybe?

“Let it go, Jane,” Darcy says and while she’s smiling like nothing is wrong, her voice sounds tense. “If we were watching Sailor Moon I’d make sure you were there.”

“You have no idea how good you kids have it these days,” Jane teases. “I had to watch Sailor Moon fansubs on shitty VHS copies back in college.”

“Shut-up and drink your margarita, Grandma.” Darcy says and then raises her pint glass towards Stevie. “Apologies to the real grandmas in the room.”

“As a real grandma, I’d say you don’t know how good you have it. The only way I could watch animation was in the theater - when I could afford to spare the nickel.”

“Well, thank you for that reality check. I was starting to feel old around Darcy.” Jane says.

“There have to be some benefits to knowing a ninety-three year old.” Stevie says amazing herself she can joke about it at all.

It’s a good thing they waited until the third round for Stevie to buy drinks, because it’s so crowded now her extra height make a difference between being seen by the bartender and getting lost in the crowd at the bar. She gets a margarita for herself because after trying a sip of Jane’s she wants to try more, a club soda for Jane, and another beer for Darcy. When she turns around to go back to the table, the three drinks in between her two hands, she sees a man at their table. Darcy is laughing and tucking her hair behind her ear. Stevie’s steps falter. She’d like nothing more than to go over there and clock the guy for daring to make Darcy smile like that.

She knew she had a bit of a crush on Darcy, she knew it, but until that moment, with jealously tugging her stomach down around her ankles, she didn’t really know how deep it ran. She takes her time getting back to the table to get a better handle on her anger and her hurt pride. Her hands aren’t shaking when she sets the drinks down and the guy leaves with a little wave while Darcy tucks a piece of paper into her purse.

The rest of the night goes by quickly but Stevie can't shake the image of the guy, handsome even if the beard and the glasses would not have been considered handsome when she was growing up. Really, what she can't shake is Darcy's smile. It makes her heart flutter and her stomach clench even thinking about it.

She has a real friend in Darcy. What she needs to do is go out and meet someone else so she stops focusing on her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie tries to get over her crush on Darcy in what's maybe not the worst way possible but is close to it.

Stevie does some research, the Internet making it so much easier to find the scene now than when she was a teenager.  If it hadn't been for Bucky dragging her to the Village and basically ordering her to go find a girl for the night she probably would never have found it at all. 

It's startling how much is out there and how easy the information is to find.  She's been out in the modern world enough to notice men holding hands, or women kissing each other good-bye at a subway stop.  She knows that people can live their lives out in the open now but being able to find articles with titles like "Best 5 Lesbian Bars in Brooklyn" still seems outrageous to her.  It leaves her feeling exposed and vulnerable, like knowing there's a sniper out in the woods but not being able to find him.

She ends up finding an article that features a bar still in the Village - for nostalgia's sake, she decides to go there.  She gets to the bar around ten, not early exactly, but not late enough for it to be packed either.  The few booths and tables are all occupied but there are a few empty seats at the bar and she places herself at one.  Her nerves now are nothing like the feelings of terror, curiosity, dread, and joy she’d had when she went into her first bar back when they were illegal, but it doesn't mean she wouldn't love to be able to relax by drinking.  She orders a tequila-based drink from the specials menu written in chalk on the wall.  Since discovering the margarita with Jane and Darcy, Stevie has decided she loves tequila.

The bar fills up fairly quickly after that and soon there are women on pressed up against her on either side trying to get to the bar.  She's making an effort to smile at the women she thinks are pretty but she's having a hard time working up the nerve to talk to any of them.  She thinks of Darcy and how she wishes she was here for some moral support before she realizes what she's doing.  She gives herself a mental shake and knows she has to give this a real shot and at least make a pass or two.

Her type is more based on personality.  She likes ballsy butches, generally.  It was easy enough to find a butch to push her around a bit when she was a slim, petite blonde with shabby if feminine clothing.  Now her hair is short, not as short as it was when she was sporting the masculine cut she had for the military, but shorter than she’d prefer to wear it. She's also taken to wearing pants because that’s what SHIELD set her up with and she still hasn’t been out clothes shopping for herself.  Right now, she looks like the kind of woman that she would have gone for before the serum.

If she is going to have to play the butch tonight since she looks the part, she decides she'll make the first move.  A handful of moments later, a tall, dark-haired woman pushes next to her to order a drink.  She looks tense, shoulders up around her ears and scowling a bit, but she obviously tries to be nice to the bartender and that above all else gets Stevie’s attention.  She had a nice perfume on, not too heavy, but this close Stevie can smell it and the faint smell of tobacco smoke.  Maybe she’s a smoker? 

She orders the same drink as Stevie.  When she moves to pay, Stevie says "Allow me” and pushes a twenty over to the bartender.  That gets the lady's attention and she looks over to Stevie.  Stevie raises her glass.  "You've got good taste." She smiles and tries to channel the flirtatious ease she remembers Bucky having.

The frenetic energy the woman has dissipates at Stevie's smile.  She smiles back, pushing her hair behind her ear.  "Thanks."

The bartender comes back with Stevie's change and she leaves what she hopes is a big tip.  It's still very hard to judge the price of things.  "You here with anyone tonight?"  She asks because if she's going to play forward she might as well play forward.

"Just some friends," the woman says.  She holds up her drink and says, "cheers."  They clink glasses and the woman makes no move to leave.  A part of Stevie can't believe her luck.  She knows she's pretty, after the serum, in a way she could never approach before but it blows her away that paying for a drink and smiling is all it takes for her to get a beautiful woman’s attention.

Now she can’t blow it by opening her mouth and being her normal self.  She fights her normal inclination to turn back to the bar to dodge the intense, interested, stare of the woman.  “My name’s Yelena,” the woman says.

“Hi.”  Stevie says and tries not to stare at the woman’s pretty mouth.  “I mean, my name is Stevie.  Stephanie,” she corrects herself.  “Everyone calls me Stevie, though.”

“It’s nice to meet you Stephanie, who everyone calls Stevie.” She takes a sip of her drink.  “So, were you named after Stevie Nicks or something?  Parents were big Fleetwood Mac fans?”

Stevie takes a slow breath through her nose.  She has no idea what Yelena is talking about and unlike with Darcy or Jane or anyone at SHIELD she can’t just cop to the reason she’s confused.  “Uh, not that I know of.  My grandma was named Stephanie, my Mom thought it would be a nice way to remember her.”   

“That’s great.  I’m Yelena because my parents couldn’t decide and when my Mom was laid up in the hospital bed with me my Dad snuck down and got the birth certificate written up.”  She laughs and it sounds nice to Stevie, richer than her speaking voice and unguarded.  

Yelena is forward and doesn’t play the blushing girl Stevie thought she might.  This is all to the good because it seems no matter how much time has passed, that remains Stevie’s role to play.  Yelena invites her to meet her friends - Stevie feels uncomfortable the whole time and is relieved when Yelena doesn’t seem inclined to stick around for long.  When Yelena asks her back to her place Stevie follows along, because this is what she wanted.  Right?  She wanted someone nice to help her get over the crush she’s got going on.  Yelena could be that person.  Seems to want to be, the way she walks up the stairs to her tiny shared apartment in Hell’s Kitchen.  While she’s trying to get the door unlocked she’s already cupping Stevie’s cheek with her other hand, and then she’s pulling them both into her apartment, past her roommates, and into her room.

It seems like no time until Stevie is falling into bed with a beautiful woman who is patient and nearly worshipful of Stevie’s body.  In her own time she had been too thin and sickly to be considered attractive.  Even after the serum when she was granted nearly movie star looks, she was too muscular to be womanly.  Now stronger women seem to be considered attractive and at one point Yelena says, “I don’t know whether to be jealous of your six pack or just want to lick it.”

The noises she makes as Stevie fingers her are just about the best thing she’s heard since she woke up and Yelena’s tongue turns out be more talented than Stevie had hoped.  Yet, lying there in the dark, Yelena dozing on her shoulder, she can’t help but feel a little hollow and, damn it, she knows why.  As beautiful and sexy as Yelena is, Stevie wants to be doing this with Darcy.  She doesn’t feel guilty about having a good time with a pretty lady, Lord only knows there are a lot more things she’s done as soldier she feels guilty for, but the knowledge she’s in over her head with Darcy isn’t exactly happy.  Shortly after dawn, when Stevie can’t even pretend to sleep any more she gets up to go.  Yelena grabs her hand as she tries to get out of her bed.  “Thanks for last night,” she says and then texts Stevie her number.  “Call me sometime,” she says as Stevie slips out the door without promising anything.

\--

The next Monday she meets up with Darcy and Jane at lunch.  She contemplates avoiding them both and eating on her own somewhere else but that feels mean-spirited and she can’t do that to friends.  

“You should go.  It’s good for the practice if nothing else.”  Jane is saying.  “Get it all out of your system.”

“I know, I know.”  Darcy says poking at her pasta arrabiata with her fork.  She looks up from her food as Stevie sits down.  “Hey, Stevie.”

“Afternoon, ladies.”  Stevie nods since her hands are occupied with her tray.  “Where are you going?” Stevie asks as she sits down.

Darcy turns red nearly instantly and Jane looks back and forth between the two of them with a bit of trepidation.

“I have a date tonight.”  Darcy says and Stevie tries to ignore the stab of jealousy in her gut.  Darcy takes a deep breath in and squares her shoulders.  “She’s someone I met online.  Seems okay.”  Darcy emphasizes “she” and Stevie feels her face freeze in an awkward half smile.  Darcy likes women.   It feels like a revelation.  Like all her stupid hopes and dreams could come true.  She tries to remind herself that even if Darcy likes girls it doesn’t mean she likes Stevie the same way Stevie likes her but it doesn’t really work.

“You going to be okay with that?  With me being into girls as well as guys?”  Darcy asks and there’s a tremor of fear in her voice.  Stevie presses her lips together.  Stevie knows how dangerous saying that would have been when she was growing up. Despite SHIELD’s Human Resources videos and trainings about greater acceptance of many lifestyles (which was code for queer as far as she could tell) she also read enough online to know that people like her are still fighting for basic rights.

“I am totally fine with you as you are.”  She says and then tries for some levity.  “It’s the Internet dating I’m not so sure about.  That’s dangerous right?  I’ve read things.”  There’s a pause and she’s nervous she made a mistake, that a joke wasn’t what she should have done.

“Internet dating?  Is what you have the problem with?”  Darcy said, side-eyeing Stevie in a way that suggests she got the joke but isn’t willing to believe it.

“I’m old fashioned that way.”  Stevie says with just the touch of primness she remembers from the old women in her neighborhood growing up.  “I believe if two women want to date they should do it the way God intended and meet at a bar in the Village.”  She tries not to think of last Saturday night and fails but she doesn’t blush so she counts it as a win.  

This gets a genuine laugh from both Darcy and Jane.  “Well, then, Mrs. Old Fashioned.  Let me tell you all about modern dating.”  Darcy says.  She apparently has been on a few dates with guys since she arrived in New York but has decided to try her hand at women since she really isn’t “in it for the d right now.”  She laughs.  “It’s like all the lesbians are in Brooklyn so that’s handy, since I live in Red Hook.”  She sighs.  “But really, I’m not clicking with anyone.”

“She’s trying to get over a crush.”  Jane says and elbows Darcy in the side.  “The reason she’s not clicking with anyone is because she won’t just ask her crush out.”

“Oh, my God, _Jane_ , shut-up.”  Darcy says and hides her face in her hands.  “I have a crush on a straight girl.”  Darcy explains.  “And I played that game in college, it’s not happening again.  I just need to sleep with a few women and get it out of my system.”  Stevie knows exactly what she means.  

“And I say she shouldn’t presume anyone’s sexuality for them.”  Jane rolls her eyes.  “You have no idea how many ‘how dare people presume I’m monosexual’ rants I’ve heard from this girl and now she’s doing the same thing.”

Darcy’s face is still flaming which would normally be adorable but and Stevie can feel her heart crumbling.  The idea that while her attention has been on Darcy, hers has been on some other woman, seems just Stevie’s sort of rotten luck but she also can’t let her own misery get in the way of her friends life.  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned,” she says clearing her throat, “is that you never know when the person you want is going to be ripped away from you by fate.”  Jane’s eyes get big and sad like a puppy dog and Darcy looks down at the table.  “So the risk of a broken heart isn’t bigger than the risk of losing the person forever.”

Which sounds great, now if only she could take her own advice.

The silence at the table lingers, becoming uncomfortable.  Stevie does what she always does in situations like this and concentrates on her food.  The tension is disturbed, finally, by both Darcy and Jane’s phones buzzing on the table.  Jane looks at her message.  “This is really bad timing.”  She sighs.  “Looks like we’ve got to go.  The lab time I’ve requested in Tromso just opened up.  You’re going to have to cancel your date, Darcy.”

“Huh. What?”  Darcy says, still watching Stevie as she eats.

“Tromso?  Science?”  Jane says, her mind clearly already back on her work.

“Yeah, right.  Okay.”  Darcy gets up from the table to follow Jane.  “Right. Work.”  She leaves, waving good-bye for both of them.

By the time Stevie makes it to the gym that afternoon she is lost in her own thoughts.  All she can think about is what she’s lost in her life and all her missed chances.  When Fury comes calling, she’s demolished five punching bags and is starting to work on her sixth.

“Trying to get me back in the world, sir?”  She asks, but she thinks to herself, _too late, I’ve seen it and I don’t want it any more_.

“Trying to save it,” he says.


	4. Chapter 4

After Loki is locked up again they end up in a small restaurant a few blocks from Stark Tower.   It’s burned out by the battle but still open, or at least it’s still open for Tony Stark’s money and any goodwill the team has accrued from the residents of New York.  After she finishes her first sandwich and starts picking at her second one her mind wanders back to Darcy.  Stevie is very happy Darcy and Jane made it to Tromso before Loki could have put them in harm's way.  Or worse, used them against the team.

She gets her phone out of her utility belt and texts Darcy.   _Bet we were on the news.  Wanted to let you know I’m okay._

She doesn’t expect a response until later that day at best. Instead, the phone buzzes in her hand before she can put in back on her belt.

_omg. we were so worried. on our way back. tromso a lie._

_What?_

_shield thought dickhole brother might go after jane so they moved us decided lying made more sense instead of just telling us_

From the other end of the table she hears Stark say loudly, “When did Cap start texting people?”

She texts back.   _Thor is sitting right next to me, would Jane like to talk to him?_

Without waiting for a reply, she turns to Thor.  “Did you want to talk to Jane?”

Thor immediately perks up.  “Jane?  Foster?”  He says as the phone rings.  Darcy’s picture is on the screen.

“No, seriously, why is Cap so popular?” Tony laments from the other end of the table.  Bruce waves his hand in a vague shushing gesture.

Stevie decides ignoring Stark is the better part of valor and answers the phone instead.  “Hello?  Darcy?”  She hears two women screaming in excitement and holds the phone away from her ear until they calm down.  “I take it you want to speak to Thor?”

Jane says, “Yes.”  And Stevie hands the phone over and it looks tiny in his hands.  For someone so loud on a battlefield he speaks to Jane softly, turning his back from the group in order to catch a modicum of privacy, and Stevie wishes her hearing wasn’t as good as it is.

The group tries to ignore Thor for a few very awkward minutes while while at the same time being obviously curious about everything going on.  Thor hands the phone back to her.  “Darcy would speak with you.”

“Darcy?”  She isn’t entirely sure what Darcy could want to say to her now that couldn’t wait.  She puts the phone to her ear.

“We need to get them together.  They can’t miss each other because of Thor’s stupid brother again,” Darcy demands.  

She looked over to Thor, who looks more dejected than before.  “I agree, but I can’t keep them here forever.”  She’s not even sure she gets any say in when Loki and Thor will go home.

“We are literally over the Atlantic right now.  We’re landing in a few hours at SHIELD headquarters.  They need Jane’s work pretty badly, I’m thinking, rushing her back so quickly.”

“I’ll work something out.  I’ll keep in contact with you.”  She wants to keep talking to Darcy because even hearing her voice helps Stevie feel stronger, more alert, and happier, but right now is not the time to indulge her crush.  Stevie doesn’t know any of her teammates well but she’s not bad at reading people in high stakes scenarios and she’s seen all their dossiers.

She turns to Stark.  “How’d you like to make a happy ending come true for a very devoted and smart scientist and maybe steal her away from SHIELD for Stark Industries?”

Tony narrows his eyes at her and she sees Natasha and Clint finally focus on the conversation.  “I’m listening,” he says.

“Jane Foster is being brought back to the United States right now and is on her way to headquarters.  But she’ll likely be either kept from Thor or just won’t fit into his schedule if we let SHIELD handle it.”  It’s moments like these that Stevie is very happy about her eidetic memory.  “Dr. Foster is a leading astrophysicist and specializes in wormholes, specifically Einstein-Rosen bridges, or what Thor calls ‘the Bifrost.’”

“Aye, she is one of the brightest of humans.  She has nearly figured out one of the most amazing engineering feats of Asgard,” Thor adds.

“Do you know what you said at all?”  Tony asks, glancing at Thor but keeping most of his focus on Stevie.

Stevie answers honestly.  “Nope.  But Jane does, which is the important part.”

Tony nods at her.  Apparently, she passed whatever test he was giving her.  Or maybe Jane did.

Thor adds, “Hear this Stark, you are already my tested Shieldmate and so you have my admiration and loyalty, but if you aid me in seeing Jane before I must depart again, I, as Prince of Asgard, would owe you a debt of honor.”

“Not so sure I need debts of honor, sounds a bit Klingon to me, but I’m getting that seeing Dr. Foster would be a big deal.”

“The biggest deal,” Thor says solemnly.  It reminds Stevie that he has spent time with both Jane and Darcy because while it sounds odd coming from Thor it would sound perfectly at home coming from Darcy..

“Well, if it’s that big,” Tony says.  She knew she had misjudged him earlier - under the influence of Loki’s staff, she could only see his flaws through her temper.  Even so, she’s pleasantly surprised that he seems genuinely happy to help out.  As she watches him make calls and work minor miracles, she thinks he probably would have done this without Stevie’s - or Thor’s - fancy words to convince him.

\--

In Stark Tower, Stark has a highball filled with scotch in his hand his other hand resting against the small of Ms. Pott's back.  Dr. Banner sits near the two of them on a bar stool and keeps them involved in some chit chat that sounded decidedly over Stevie's head.  Thor paces by the door to the elevator while Romanov and Barton sprawl together on a couch.  Both look like they are dozing but Stevie knows that, like any soldier, they could wake up in a moment if needed.  Stevie keeps to her seat by the window, keeping an eye on the City and an eye on her teammates. She uses the time she has to mull things over.

For a while, she can’t stop thinking about all the moments she’d missed with Peggy.  Bucky had never been the type of person to look in on his own life like it was a Macy's Christmas window.  He jumped right in.  With Peggy, she’d had a legitimate fear that they’d both get drummed out of the Service if they were caught - even if, in retrospect, it seems like it would have been worth taking the chance.  What’s holding her back now?  

She thinks she’s doing a pretty good job of letting Thor be the impatient one for the both of them, but when JARVIS announces Darcy and Jane's arrival Stevie leaps up and hovers just behind Thor as he waits by the elevator door.  It opens and Stevie can see both of the women inside looking a bit worn around the edges but otherwise fine and whole.  Thor’s outstretched arms encircle them both in a bear hug.  After a few moments Darcy wiggles out of the hug to let Jane and Thor get reacquainted, which means a lot of kissing and generally looking like two leads in a romantic movie.  Stevie can almost hear the orchestra swell off screen.  

Darcy walks over to Stevie next and wraps her arms around her.  Stevie puts one arm and then the other around Darcy, slow as if her body was actually 93 years old.  Darcy rests her head on Stevie’s shoulder and says, "I'm so glad you're safe.”  Her voice breaks and she takes a moment to collect herself.  “The news said a woman wearing Captain America's uniform was out on the field but aside from, like, ten seconds of grainy cell phone footage there was no word if you were okay or injured or dead."  Darcy looks up at Stevie and her eyes are damp.  "Sorry, sorry.  You're okay and I'm stupid for crying.  It's just.  I don't even know."

Stevie thinks about Jane's voice on the phone and her own sordid history of never taking a chance with her own heart and thinks, just go for it, Stephanie.

"I'm very hard to kill."  She says and  Darcy chuckles half-heartedly then hugs Stevie tightly resting her head against Stevie’s chest.  "Darcy?"  Stevie asks.

"Yeah?" Darcy says into her sternum.

Stevie takes a deep breath to calm the nerves that have flared up inside her stomach.  "If you don't mind, I'd really like to kiss you now."

"Oh?"  Darcy says, pulling back from Stevie just enough to look her in the eye.

"Kind of a lot, actually," she adds, thinking to herself, please don't say no.

"I kind of really want to kiss you a lot too," Darcy says and smiles up at her.

"Is that a yes?"  Stevie asks because it seems to her she must have misheard.

"Just fucking kiss me," Darcy says and Stevie can’t mistake that for anything.

So Stevie does, leaning down and pressing her lips against Darcy's.  Darcy’s lips are soft and taste like the strawberry lip balm she keeps in her purse at all times.  Stevie tries to keep it chaste, really she does, because she is in a room with other people, her teammates, and she feels like she’s already taking a number of big risks by kissing Darcy but feeling Darcy respond to her kiss and open her mouth against Stevie's overrides any sense of propriety she was trying to hold onto.  She almost wishes she'd waited until they were alone because now she wants to toss Darcy down on one of the couches and kiss her forever.

Finally they both have to come back up for air and she hears Stark say, "and I thought finding out magic wielding aliens existed was going to the surprise of the week."

She hears Ms. Potts chastise Tony.  Stevie can feel her embarrassment rising but keeps her resolve.  She's fought against aliens bent on world domination today, she can handle this.  "You gonna have a problem with this, Stark?”  She looks up at him first and then at the rest of her teammates.  “Anyone?"

"Woah, woah.  Nope, no problem here.  Surprised, not shocked," Stark says, his hands up in the air.  She glances at the rest of them but no one else has anything to say.  If they did, well, she'd deal with it later. 

“I for one am glad to see the Lady Darcy has good taste in those she chooses to bestow her affections,” Thor says, walking over to Stevie and slapping her shoulder as if she was one of the fellas.  “And you, Captain, have chosen an equally fearsome partner.”

“Thor,” Darcy says in a loud whisper.  “Be cool.”

"And I would like to say," Jane adds, "I told you so, I told you so, I told you so. You owe me a Mexican mocha."  She sticks her tongue out at Darcy. “No one who looked at you that way was not totally smitten.”

“I said, be cool,” Darcy moans like an embarrassed teenager.

“What’s a Mexican mocha?”  Stevie asks, partly because she is curious but mostly to change the subject.

“It’s like a regular mocha but with spices.  Like chiles and cinnamon and stuff,” Darcy explains.  “I’m surprised we haven’t tried it when we were out with Jane.  If a coffee shop makes it, she orders it.”

 “Now we know we’re taking Stevie with us when you get me the one you owe me,” Jane says.  “You’ll just have to get one for your girlfriend too.”

Darcy says, “Oh my God, Jane you are worse than my parents.”  She covers her face with her hands.

Stevie says, “You’d be my girl?”  Then realizes what she said.  “Not that we have to move that fast.  I don’t want to pressure you.  I mean I realize-“

Darcy puts a finger to Stevie’s lips and rolls her eyes at Jane and Thor who are grinning at the both of them like match-making fools.  “Of course I would, but I think maybe we should go on a date or two first?  Let’s not live up to all the lesbian stereotypes just yet.  Right?  No second date moving vans.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Stevie says, “but I’d like to go on a date with you.”  Darcy pulls her down for another kiss and over the hollers of her team mates she thinks maybe this was her moment for the romantic ending with the swelling orchestra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much more planned for this universe. Next up is Stevie's back story which means The Depression, nursing, lots of Bucky, and being queer in 1930s New York.


End file.
